The idea of being creative might make some of you cringe. Maybe you’ve been told you don’t have a creative bone in your body. Maybe you measure your own abilities with a tall measuring stick.
Now close your eyes and let go of all preconceived notions. Repeat…I was designed to be creative and I can give myself permission to be imperfectly creative! Do you enjoy singing, poetry, story writing, drawing, sculpting, playing and instrument, etc.? Do you avoid these activities or not give yourself time to lean into your craft because you feel it’s a waste of time? Well…It’s time we change that story.
I was trained classically in piano from first grade through 10th grade. I could play very complex piano pieces, but not because I was excellent at sight reading. It was because I could hear how it was supposed to sound, and then could practice until I replicated the timing of the notes. Sure I had some sight reading skills, but as compared to some of my friends and teachers who could just sit down and play anything through…in my mind I wasn’t good enough.
In high school and college I found myself leaning into my creative side of music and writing songs…mostly for my own emotional processing, but also because I enjoyed playing and others found my music enjoyable. In my mid 30’s I joined a worship band and played on stage performing at 4 services on weekends. We even had a side band that played in the street of the Tenderloin area in San Francisco one Thanksgiving. It was always a lot of work for me, yet the reward was when the music all came together and the band was completely in sync.
As life got busy, I fell away from my craft, and the little voice came in that I really wasn’t as good as the musicians who could play in any key, on the fly, etc. In fact, I felt even more discouraged when I auditioned for another band and never heard back. Of course the story I made up was “I wasn’t good enough” and therefore never tried again and focused on other things. When we downsized our home, I convinced myself that I couldn’t play because the piano would be heard by all the neighbors walking outside…so I just kind of stopped playing.
This past weekend as I continue to work through my own fears and insecurities, I felt I owed it to myself to lean into the discomfort and still explore the creativity that I have always found calming and soothing to my soul. I also decided to increase my learning and skill set in minor and jazz chord progressions, so I am committing to taking some online classes that continue to challenge me to grow and practice what I preach.
I hope you have something you love, but fear just a little, and will join me in this endeavor as we embrace creativity in the upcoming year together.
