You’ve all heard the famous Theordore Roosevelt quote “Comparison is the thief of joy” and yet we live in a world that is constantly throwing us images and stories of success that cause us to see other people’s lives as better or more joyful than ours. Like you, my inbox is inundated with millennial stories of overnight success, financial freedom, and people half my age, often with much less education, traveling to exotic destinations all because they did this “one thing” and became overnight millionaires.
I’m not immune to the pitfalls of comparison, or the little voice that screams loudly “You’re behind,” or “Look at their amazing Girl Tribe.” In fact, we all are just imperfect people trying to live in a world that shows us a highlight reel of reality. Sure, success might look like it came overnight for some, but in reality…there’s usually some edited part of the story that we’re not privy to. You know, the part that shows the authentic struggle for many years, failed attempts at business, failed relationships…the edited parts of the story purposely left out to win favor.
Our brain is complex and it loves a story. Even if the story is wrong. But how often do we check the validity of the story. Especially in today’s world with social media and news claims for “Fake News.” Yet do you have a way of auditing the information your brain receives? Do you have accountability partners in your life that you vulnerably discuss your shame triggers with? Do you allow them to offer honest input to deconstruct the story you made up? The truth is, most of us aren’t even aware of how quickly this happens. In fact, we can go from seemingly content to angry, jealous, sad, disappointed, discouraged, anxious…you name it, just by our perception of someone else’s Highlight Reel.
Our happiness can get hijacked by the perception that somehow we are not good enough, not seen, not recognized, not validated, not worthy, not interesting enough, not deserving, etc. These negative beliefs, and many beliefs like them, can show up even when we try to deny they exist. We can go about life chasing more, and seeking something greater just to demonstrate to ourselves that we are enough. It’s a dangerous cycle of hustling for and beating ourselves up for not being where we want to be in life.
So it’s time to start living your life and stop trying to build your life or compare your life to someone’s else’s highlight reel. The sooner we are able to recognize our own journey, and with self-compassion love ourselves for the process, the more apt we will be at managing our emotions. Our joy and success isn’t a 10 minute clip that’s been photoshopped and edited…it’s a messy road of ups, downs and side twists that make our stories unique to us.
