National Social Work Month
March is National Social Work month where we celebrate and honor the work that our profession has done to impact underserved populations and those needing advocacy. As I look back on my 24 years as a professional social worker I recognize that in my career I have seen tremendous growth and yet still recognize how much more there is to do in order to ensure that all individuals regardless of their age, race, ethnicity, cultural background, religion, gender, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, or socio-economic status are seen, heard and valued.
Perfection and Judgment
I’ve encountered many people in my life, both professionally and personally, who profess strong beliefs around their certainty for how things are supposed to be. The interesting thing about “Certainty” is that it is the thing that perfectionists are holding so steadfast to. They see life through their lens, their value system, and usually surround themselves with people who can help reinforce their certainty in what they hold to be true.
The antidote to perfectionism is vulnerability. Brené Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Yet in our current polarized world, where human rights have become politicized as a means for gaining power and money on both sides of the table, it saddens me to see how judgment and fear have squashed mystery and uncertainty. When we lose our capacity to question old thoughts or ingrained beliefs, and even confront authority figures when our gut or intuition is screaming “this isn’t right!”, we’ve traveled far away from vulnerability.
Mastering The Art of Sounding Certain
Today I heard a message from a Pastor that resonated with me. He said, “We have mastered the art of sounding certain.” In other words, in our attempt to find peace, we have tried to cling to certainty. The problem with this is that it doesn’t exist. Even doctrine, and words spoken as “The Truth” are interpretations and translation of language. Some of it is even taken out of context or replaced with words that are very different from the original meaning, in order to support the construct of the group interpreting it. Yet if our need for certainty stops us from doing our own work, or from seeing alternative viewpoints and perspectives, then we fall into the trap of our own perfectionism leading to judgment of others.
Fear drives our need for certainty. When we can sit with our fear and understand where it’s coming from, we are more capable to start to zoom out our lens, and be open for conversations and learning about populations we really don’t understand.
Owning our Judgment
We are all worthy of love and belonging…regardless of our age, race, ethnicity, cultural background, religion, gender, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, or socio-economic status. As children we have no concept of Good, Bad, or Right and Wrong until someone instructs us otherwise. Today there is a lot of fear about what our children are learning, or what can and can’t be taught in school. We live in a free country where free speech is honored, yet it is also our job to notice our own judgments, where we get our information, and even spend time educating ourselves from a different perspective before formulating an opinion that we call Certainty.
We have a lot of work to still do in order to find common ground between our beliefs during this very polarized time. The only bridge that connects us is our capacity to let go of our construct of Certainty and embrace the vulnerability of someone else’s story.
